Newsletter

For Monica Samuels it happened when she was standing in front of the salad bar at the Radisson Hotel restaurant in Orlando, Florida. The smell of slightly curdled bleu cheese dressing was making the already nauseous two-month pregnant Monica sick and it made her realize she couldn't go back to work after the birth of her second child.

The question was could she take a couple years off and still have a career? Is it professional suicide to be a stay at home mom?

The answer: Yes you can take time off but you have to have a plan. Quitting is more than saying the words. It requires a strategy. It's also something an increasing number of women are doing. Each year since 2000 a few hundred thousand women more have decided to stay home, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. Last year 5.4 million women identified themselves as stay at home moms.

For Monica quitting when she decided to was a huge sacrifice. She was working on the 2004 presidential campaign. All those months toiling away in bad hotel rooms and working until the wee hours of the morning were supposed to pay off with a bounty of job offers after the campaign. There she was throwing all those offers away.

What she didn't throw away were her connections and neither should you. The most important factor in whether or not you are employable when you want to go back to work is whom you know. People still in the loop can tell you where there are job openings. Ex-coworkers and former supervisors who still know your name might suggest you as a possible hire when something comes up. Networking is the one thing you can't hang in the back of your closet when you decide to shed your suit for sweats.

Optimally you should know you're quitting a few months before you do because you need to shore up your contacts at work. Make sure you have all your coworkers and supervisors contact information. Schmooze. Take people to lunch. Do extra work. Do the assignments others don't want to before you announce you're leaving. Sow the seeds of good will. Commit yourself to emailing these people every couple months, going to lunch once or twice a year and sending Christmas cards.

Besides networking in overdrive, you have to look at other ways you can keep a hand in your career. Ask yourself these questions:

• Are there professional organizations you can join that will help you stay connected?
• Are there other women in your field that you can form a loose network with? Maybe plan to meet for lunch every couple of months.
• Are there charity or volunteer opportunities that will keep you connected? For example doctors can work in clinics and journalists can teach a section of a course.
• Is there part-time or project work you can do?
• Could being active in politics or religion or the schools help you stay connected? Choose where you spend your time wisely.
• Are there courses you can take that will better you professionally?

Don't make the mistake so many women who leave work do. Don't commit one hundred percent of your time to your children. Save a couple hours a week for yourself. Use that time to keep your contacts alive.

Take a lesson from Brenda Barnes, chief executive officer of Sara Lee Corp. Brenda left a leadership position at PepsiCo to stay home with her kids but she didn't let her contacts languish. While she was home she

• served on seven boards of corporations
• chaired the trustees at her former school, Augustana College
• taught a class in leadership at Kellogg Graduate School of Management

When Brenda was ready to go back to work her contacts and skill sets were up to date. She took the job of president of Sara Lee in 2004 and was made CEO a year later. Not bad for a mom of three who took some time off.

You did it. You committed yourself to staying home with your kids for a few years. Now you want to get back into the career you left behind.

It's impossible – that's what a lot of other mothers, employers and even your husband might tell you.

It's not.

It's hard but what in life isn't hard. Handling a baby and a two year old on three hours of sleep is hard but it's doable.

The good news is employers are starting to recognize the value of stay at home moms. Nonnie Waller's Traditional Southern, a bakery that ships nationally, targeted moms as their first employees because moms were responsible and willing to work. Best Buy's corporate headquarters has adjusted employee hours to help parents out. Basically there's no nine to five anymore. It's get your work done and make your own hours. Microsoft, Pricewaterhouse and Cooper, and Grant Thornton have all started alumni networks for former employees in hopes of luring them back. One of their big targets is women who have been out of the work force. Other smaller companies are taking their lead and starting their own networks. There's even a website called HireMyMom.com, which allows moms to connect with businesses looking for help on projects.

Now that you know that there's a lot out there the next step is figuring out what you want. Give yourself a few months to ease into applying for a job, if you can. Think about where you want to be in five years. Write down who you'd like to work for and what position you would love to have.

Then call a couple human resources people at companies you dream of working for, ask them what qualifications are needed for the job you want and ask them what they're looking for currently because you might be able to get into the company at a lower level and work up.

Once you've figured out what you want and what it will take to get it you have to analyze the steps you need to take to fill in the gap between the two.

• Do you need to take a course or two?
• Do you need more on the job experience?
• Do you need to know more of the right people?
• Do you need to wait until the position opens up?

After you clarify what you have to do to get your ideal job you can begin your real job search. That's right your ideal job will most likely not be your first job when you reenter the workforce. It probably won't be your second job either. Prepare for putting in some time in a position that you don't love but will get you to one that you will. Decide on where to look for a first job based on where you want to be in five years.

If there's a company you're dying to work for, you might consider taking a lower level job to get your foot in the door. If there's a specific employer you want to impress, you could take a job at a less prestigious place that allows you to showcase your skills.

You need to couple your job search with a lot of face time. Not schmoozing exactly. Schmoozing sounds like it's laced with cheap wine and chicken wings. What you need to do is show up at professional organization meetings and other places you know the people you want to hire you will be. You want to soft sell yourself over weeks of interaction. This isn't a sprint it's a marathon and you don't want to become known as the lady with a hire me sign around her neck. It's enough to tell people you're looking for a job. If people want to help you they'll do the rest.

Remember where you are now isn't where you'll be forever. The job you had when you were twenty isn't the job you had when you were thirty. In a sense starting over is like beginning a new career you usually have to pay some dues to get to the really great job. The difference between now and your twenties is the ramp up time is a lot quicker.